With an average age of 48, the Straggler team selected by the Master Brewer elicited interest from a number of quarters not usually seen on cricket grounds in rural Kent. The Greek authorities assumed that the wholly immobile fielder at short mid-off (technically ‘the pillar’) was a long lost section of the Elgin marbles; Help the Aged were on hand with assorted rubs and potions, but still could not prevent Eliot (the alternative brewer) from needing emergency care; and it was rumoured that David Attenborough had been called in to film the pair of rhinos batting at 2 and 3 for the Stragglers. Never has so much effort gone into such little forward motion. Those who have heard Brian Johnston’s story of the Duke of Norfolk will understand the importance of synchromesh.
There is, however, nothing like the prospect of a wicket to motivate the motionless, and Giles, whose cart wheeling days are sadly behind him, sprang to life to take a one handed return catch just when the opposition seemed to have dropped anchor. Three wins in a row to start the season will see your correspondent delving into the records to find out when (if ever) the Stragglers have been in such form.